Talk About Ramble...

I want to blog on here so many things that are making me so angry right now. I know I should just paint, or write some dark poem or just scream into my pillow. For the first time in my entire life I am having a true "meltdown" I want to be left alone and if people do want to speak to me it is in a loving and understanding manner. I want someone to wrap their arms around me and just hug me and tell me that I will be ok. That all this saddness and darkness will clear and I will one day again see light.

I am actually having to delete my Facebook profile because apparently it has become the be all end all of human connection and if there is ever a talk show that says "did Facebook ruin your life" I can honestly answer yes to that.

I am a failure at life and I am a loser. A FAT, LAZY, LOSER! I don't work, because I am too fat too, I can't have a positive relationship if it kills me and I am lonely.

I am not ever going to trust another actual human being again, I am sure of it. Because everyone says EXACTLY WHAT THE PERSON THEY ARE TALKING TOO WANTS TO HEAR. Never the truth or the "right thing" or honesty.

I was truly raised on "honesty is the best policy" and that is NO LONGER THE CASE in my life. Everyone around me wants to please everyone else instead of standing up for what is right and just.

I need a hero. I need a superman in my life. I need a man who will say to me "that no matter what, honest will prevail and we will find a solution"

I have lived in a fake fairytale for almost a year come next Thursday and it is time I move on and find me a Champion!

I am God's child and I deserve happiness but above all, I deserve LOVE, RESPECT AND HONESTY...

I will now get off my soapbox...Goodnight

xoxo